365

Yes, I understand that nobody is going to look at a cryptic title.  I also know that if I want more readers, I have to come up with more interesting titles.  I don’t care.  We are in November and in a little over 365 days, I will be the big 5 – 0.

Let’s face it, this year has been interesting and not always in a nice way.  I have seen the two most important men in my life struggle with their health.  I have discovered up close and personal what dementia is and I’ve had some setbacks of my own.  This paragraph was written with the sole purpose of keeping it real without being rude.  If you know me personally, you know what this is about.

The thing is, I am still here.  In two weeks, I celebrate my 49th birthday. I refuse to let life get in the way of celebrating another year of life.  Yes, there are always interesting things along the way.  Some are great and some are not.  The important thing is not that you fall down, it is how you get up.  Me, I plan on spending the day doing something I like, because we’ve had so many days of doctor visits and hospital stays and people looking sad.  It is enough.  Let’s celebrate life as much as possible.  Forget about the past and the future, think about today.

I know some days we don’t feel like celebrating.  We all have those.  You maybe are having one of those days right now.  Just think about what you do have.  If you are reading this, you have a computer or a cell phone with internet access.  You probably have a roof over your head (even if it is not yours) and food.  More importantly, you are alive.  Do you have any idea how many people wish they had a chance to be here for one more day?  Don’t waste it.  Enjoy it.  Bad days don’t last forever.  Find the beauty in even the worst of days.

How are you feeling today?  Leave your comment below and don’t forget to donate $5 HERE so that I can finish writing the book.  Thanks.

Why Write at All

I just read a story on the Washington Post about a writer that had no success in getting people to read his stuff.  His name was Dennis Williams and he left a blog of his musings.  The way I understood it, he wrote several editors all over the world to let them know that he was going to kill himself.  The act of sending the emails was a last attempt at getting attention for his writing.  The suicide itself was a way of putting an end to what he saw as his mission in life.

Some of the thoughts I gathered from the article is that he was frustrated that he did not have any followers and not many likes.  That made me think about my own blog and my writing in general.  I have four or five novels in different stages of the process.  I write in this blog all the time, although not as consistently as I wish.  The thing is, I would love for people to read what I write.  And at the same time, I don’t write for you.  I write what I wish I could find in the bookstore or on the local library shelf.  I guess the same could be said for this blog.

I write because I don’t see too many middle-aged women writing about how much they hate the term middle-aged.  I write because I see everyone putting their best face on social media and I say whatever I’m feeling whenever I am feeling it.  I chose to look at the glass half full and that might piss off some people.  Just because I have a lot of tragedy around me does not mean my life is tragic.  I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason and the experience is worth analyzing.

So I guess it all begs the question why write at all.  I write because it makes me happy.  I have tons of journals, notes, blog posts and social media posts where I express myself and writing is my expression of choice.  If nobody ever reads this blog, that is ok too.  I know that someday, somewhere, somebody might find something interesting, comforting or even something that will make them feel like they are not the only one.  If one person finds that, then I have done my job, even if that person is me.

Why do you do what you do?  Leave your comment below.

Day 259: I Took a Week Off

A lot of things happen when you take some days off and put your life in perspective.  I highly recommend it.

It was not intentional.  I had made myself a promise to write at least once a week in my blog post.  You see, I don’t write in advance many times, what you see is what I write the morning of the day I post.  The only times I blog in advance is when I am planning a vacation or something like that.  I have been thinking about having some structure and writing in advance but it does not seem to work for me.

I took a week off by accident.  There I was, busy as always, when it hit me that last week I forgot to write about what was going on.  Before I knew it, it was Saturday.  At that point, I might as well wait until Monday.  And so, here I am.

Last Friday, I made up my mind that I wanted to publish a book before the year was over.  It is going to be a self published effort, my first.  The truth is, I don’t want to wait anymore.  There is something about having dreams and making them happen that keeps me up at night.  I want to make other people’s dreams come true.  How can I understand the concept if I keep my own dreams in the back burner?

So, I decided that every morning I would journal for an hour.  The truth is, I am the world’s laziest writer.  I love writing but I don’t do it every day.  Something about that just did not seem right.  So I started writing again.  Today, is the fourth day that I start my day writing.  I had to sacrifice some things to be able to pull this off.  For one thing, I had to erase all my games from my tablet.  That is what I spent the first hour of the day doing, to “wake” myself up.  The second thing is that I don’t start my day on Facebook.  For one thing, I stopped liking things on Facebook as an experiment and now every time I open my window with Facebook, it gives me an error message.  I guess I am confusing the algorithm and it does not know what to show me. I also don’t like starting the day with bad news and my friends are obsessed with terrorism and deadly diseases. The third thing I did is change my default window to Pandora.  It is great to start the day with great music from all over the world instead of a feed of senseless information.  Step number four is that I stopped watching any news story.

Here is the thing about news:  the media does not decide what I give my energy to.  Too many people are obsessed with war and destruction.  They don’t understand that every time we attack something, it grows and transforms into something worse…the war on drugs comes to mind.  The way to stop the madness in the world is to start with you.  Once you have you covered, then you move around your circle of influence.  If we all did this, there would be no war or destructions.  Everyone would have a chance to be heard and this would be a better place.

Some people might think that I am being too simplistic or Pollyanna.  The truth is, I do believe that as simple as it sounds, it does a lot more good to focus on your little world than sitting in front of the boob tube focusing on a war that we don’t understand.

So I took a week off to put my head on straight.  So what are you doing today?  Are you creating a better you?  Leave your comments below.