Day 267: 230 and 60,000

As I decided to spend my last weekend off planning the rest of my life, two numbers hit me hard:  230 and 60,000.  These numbers are not the most positive numbers for me to talk about.  I made a decision that I was going to be honest about my life and challenges, in the hopes that someone can learn something from our experience.  So here it goes, in all its detail.

The last ten days of the year I am using to plan what the next year is going to be about.  Some things included on this planning is getting real about where we are, where we want to go and how are we going to get there.  This is true for us as a family, as people with outside interests and as humans walking the earth.  This is a big challenge.  Every year, we make sure we add one or more experiences we’ve never had before.  Some of these experiences are small, like our first NBA game or our first MLB game.  Some of them are educational, like this year’s trip to NASA.  Others are bigger, like my desire to celebrate my 50th birthday running the Ironman.  That is still a few years away.  In order to make it, there are other things that need to be accomplished.

That is where the first number comes in.  I am 5’4″ and I am at this particular point in time 230 pounds.  This is really bad.  Even when I had gallbladder surgery I was 221.  I had actually dropped some weight mid-year.  And then I could not control myself in a way that I was happy with and here we are.  This is completely my responsibility, and at this time, I need to remind myself that loving myself does not mean eating whatever I want.  The process is long and systems are being created.  I will not be this weight by this time next year.

There are many things we would like to do this coming year, including a trip out-of-state.  And yet, to me, the most important thing is to cut my debt in half.  The second number must be plugged into this paragraph.  As a family, we are $60,000 in debt.  The good news is that half of that is loans that once we pay them off, we will not see again.  You might be thinking…”Why are you saying this in public?”  The truth is that we are not keeping up with the Joneses.  Our debts have more to do with college loans, a car and my surgery, which went on credit cards.  The reason why I am saying it is because I am tired of watching people go into debt for showing a lifestyle that they cannot afford, while the rest of us are deep into debt over trying to survive.  It should not be this way.

Now, I am not interested in dispensing money advice, that is not my strength.  There are plenty of good resources for you to learn.  I can tell you that I plan to see half of that number gone by this time next year.  Just like my current weight, it has to go.  There is no place in my life for it.

So what are the things that make you pause right now?  Do you have a plan to make it better?  Leave your comment below.


Day 264: You Are Not Here to Make Them Better

I was listening to friend from the net, Tonya TKO and she has a video out about why he didn’t call.  She was talking about a lot of things, including how we are socialized differently than men.  We are meant to be good at keeping house so we can keep a man.  The video was really good and also reminded me of another story that people keep telling you as a woman when it comes to your partner.  It is supposedly your job to make that person better.  Allow me to clarify.  You are not here to make them better, that is their job.

Here is the thing.  When I was young, all the women in my life insisted that it was my job to make sure that my husband felt like the man of the house.  I should not get a better job than his.  He should never do any housework.  My job is to take care of the house, the kids, the bills and get a job so we can make ends meet and have some fun.  I’m sorry, that is not my job and it should not be your job either.

Your job is to live your best life ever and what he does, feels or lives is his experience.  Now I am not saying that you let him stray and do his thing and not take an interest on his life, interests and experiences.  What I am saying is that his life is not your responsibility, it is his.  If he does not feel like a real man, that is on him and not on you.

That is all I am going to say about that for now.

What do you think?  Leave your comments below.

Day 262: Protecting Our Elders

Today I saw yet another episode of another show where an older woman was conned out of thousands of dollars.  The latest episode showed a person that went into a dating website, a Christian dating website, to find love after the loss of her first husband due to cancer.  I don’t know what we can do, we need to start protecting our elders.

I often find it funny that we are so busy exposing the conmen, that we have not held dating sites accountable.  I don’t expect them to know everything about the people that use their websites.  Seems to me they should be able to do a background check that at least proves these people are who they say they are.  Thanks to technology, I would think that would be a lot easier nowadays.

According to the authorities, $82 million dollars have left the country due to this kind of fraud.  These people never see their money or belongings again.  Unfortunately, these people are groomed into believing their family and friends don’t want to see them happy.  I feel terrible about the loss and I wonder what we can do to protect our elders.

We are all in this world together.  We need to get rid of the problems together.  I don’t know how we can fix this, all I know is that I hope it gets fixed soon.  In the meantime, get out of the house and make sure that you meet people in person.  More importantly, don’t ever give them money.

What do you think?  Leave your comment below.