Love Yourself

It is often said that if you don’t love yourself, you cannot love anybody else.  Ironically, I am writing this as I listened to Welcome to the Pleasuredome anthem used in the move Toys, when the toys fight the mean General who is trying to take over the toy factory.

Why?  Because I am upset and I am competitive and this song reminds me that I am a winner.  YEs, I have to admit that I am very competitive.  That is one of the things I love and hate most about myself.  There is no way that I am going to let any person beat me at something if I consider it a challenge.

I give you an example.  I used to work at a store selling mattresses and they brought back their master bed seller.  I was not selling much, according to them.  Of course, if anyone had bothered to tell me how many beds to sell before they brought her in, I probably would have done much better.  But, things being the way they were, I found out what I was supposed to be doing two weeks before she came back to work.

I like this lady a lot.  She is funny, smart and very competitive.  So, to make it interesting, we made a bet to see who would sell the most beds for a particular event.  And let’s just say that I enjoyed my crab cake from Joe’s Crab Shack very much (if you know me, you know I love crab cakes, and the winner picked the restaurant).  Nothing taste better than free food.

Now, I find myself having a different kind of competition.  One that I am not willing to talk about just yet.  The only thing that I will say is that there is a big difference between being nice and being run over and I do not like the idea of being run over.  So I am not.

So what does that have to do with loving yourself? you might be asking.  There is a school of thought that says that competitive people don’t love themselves enough.  I disagree.  I believe that people who like competition can be separated into two categories:  sorry losers and good losers.  The sorry losers are the ones that cannot stand losing.  In my life, if you beat me fair and square, you get my respect.  That is what makes for a good loser.  And that kind of loser has love and respect for herself and others.  The people who are bad competitors, pout and complain are the ones who don’t love themselves.  And yes, by default that means that there are good winners and bad winners.  Good winners don’t gloat.  The same people who make for bad losers are usually the same people who gloat and make a big scene when they win.  It is called insecurity and it comes from not loving yourself.

So what kind of player are you?  Leave your comments below.

 

Competitive marriage - the title says it all
Competitive marriage – the title says it all

 

Do You Love Yourself?

Today’s prompt in NABLOPOMO is about how old you were when you fell in love.  Since I am adapting this challenge to the exercise of loving ourselves first, I ask you two questions:  Do You Love Yourself?  When did you first start?

Let’s face it, we are not very nice to ourselves.  I can give you at least 100 examples of times that you have not been very nice to yourself at all, like that time when you put your group first and stayed up all night, only to be cranky on the day of the event and not able to enjoy it like everyone else.  Or maybe when you invited your friends over and slaved over the stove making something magical, only to be to tired to even try it when they came.  How about when you were young and you fell in love and you put all your needs aside to make the other person happy?  How did that work out for you?

It has taken me a lifetime to finally look at myself and feel good enough to dedicate me time and energy.  I wonder if you are feeling the same way.  We all do it.  We are raised to put everyone’s needs first.  We see it at home.  Our mothers were the same way.  As much as we criticized them when we were young, we do the exact same thing.  It is called modeling behavior and it has to stop.

So, do you love yourself?  Count the ways in the comments section below.

My First Crush

I am participating in a month of writing, and today’s prompt asked the question, who was my first crush?  It should have been with myself, but I missed that boat entirely.

Here is what you need to know.  You must love yourself.  It is the right thing to do.  Why?  Because if you don’t love you, you cannot love anyone else.  You cannot give what you don’t have.  In all fairness, the love you feel for others is not the right love because you are lacking it yourself.

If you learn to love yourself, then you don’t judge yourself.  If you manage that, then you will never judge anyone else.

If you love yourself, you will not feel jealousy.  And so you will never feel insecure in your partner because you know jealousy has no place in your life.

If you love yourself, you will take care of yourself.  In doing so you will also take care of others.  It will feel easy and right, not like a chore.

So who should your first crush be?  Yourself.  When you love yourself you can love everyone else. This world will be much better when we all learn to put ourselves first.  Because by putting ourselves first, we will put everyone else in perspective.  Just like that teaching that says “Love your brother as thyself”.  Yes, even in religion this is a principle.

So who was your first crush?  And when did you start loving yourself?  Let us know in the comments section below.