As I move into this journey of blogging more regularly, I notice that I need some sort of organization. Just as I am using the day today to sort out all my paperwork for my mother and me, I need to take a little time to figure out what the main categories of the blog are going to be. For now, today is demented Wednesday. What does that even mean?
There is a suspicion that my mother might have dementia. Although studies of her brain have not uncovered any anomaly yet, something is making her act funny. There are days when I can have all kinds of conversations with her and then, there are days when she is convinced that she has back pain and nothing we do stops the pain. It is heartbreaking and emotional. It also makes some days longer than others.
I don’t remember when was the last time I had a couple of hours to myself. I feel like I am always working on something for someone else. I have a stack of around 100 magazines and books I would like to get to at some point in this lifetime. I feel guilty if I don’t spend more time with her. I feel guilty if I don’t take care of myself. I feel like nothing I am doing is correct and it is very frustrating.
Then I have a couple of days a week where we have a nurse that stops by and takes care of her for a few hours so that we can breathe. More often than not, we run errands. At the end of the day, I have not been able to finish anything. After a conversation with my daughter, we decided that I am going to cut my day into segments. One segment is for all the paperwork and orders we have not done yet. One segment is to hang out with her. The next segment is for some courses I registered for a while back and never got around to finish. Then the nurse gets here and I will take a segment for my other projects.
I hope that in the future, we will add day care to the mix and at least have a couple of days that I can take her somewhere to get her distracted. This way she can meet other people. She tends to do better when there are other people around. And so, between my day and her day, we don’t have a sane day anymore. Demented comes out of her possible condition as well as the hectic nature of my days lately.
So what challenges do you have when you take care of a loved one? Let us know in the comments section below.